I know I haven't written in a while, but that's because I got sucked in to the holidays. Tyler and I had an awesome Christmas, which involved us exchanging gifts on the twelve days leading up to December 25. The rule was to give one thing each day, but neither of us could help ourselves. ANYWAY, it's been too long, so I thought I'd write about something kind of heavy.
Tyler thinks I'm physically attractive.
Now, I actually just wrote "Tyler thinks I'm beautiful", but deleted it. I know he does, but that statement implies all sorts of things about my heart and soul and that is not what I'm talking about. I am talking about how he views my body, face, etc.
Look, I've never thought I was ugly. I've also thought if I was the only woman left on earth, the majority of men wouldn't complain, as long as I really was the only woman left on earth. If say, your Natalie Portman or Blake Lively popped out of a bomb shelter, I would no longer be hot stuff. Yes, as long as I wasn't standing next to anyone else, I was a solid 7.75, or with the right makeup and lighting, an 8.
When I met Tyler, all that changed. He has told me, pretty much every day since we began dating that I am beautiful. Physically beautiful. My eyes, my lips, my cheekbones. That stuff. Any woman who tells you that she doesn't like being told she's beautiful is lying. So yes, I have never tired nor will I ever tire from hearing that every day. Did I believe Tyler right away though? Ho, ho, ho...definitely not! I just thought he was being nice, that perhaps he was just saying the thing all women want to hear to get in my good graces. Well, Tyler never says anything he doesn't mean, which I eventually learned. And with the repeated compliments combined with the way he stares at me sometimes...I believe him now.
But that's just my face! What about my body? Well...again, I'm fine until Gisele Bundchen or Kim Kardashian crawls out of the bomb shelter. I'm short, so I've always thought my legs were stubby and chubby. I carry most of my weight there and in my stomach, which growing up in the era of Britney Spears and the midriff baring tops did nothing for my self-esteem. I have an ample bosom, but my butt (I thought) was not sufficient enough thanks to Sir Mix-a-Lot and J. Lo. Untoned, pale, and scattered with cellulite. It could be worse, surely, but it could be better too.
Enter Tyler. A bit after we began dating, he saw my body. I'll never forget the look on his face when he did either. Never. I truly felt sexy. With his compliments and words of reassurance and his, well, constant desire for me, I believe him on this front as well.
So am I the most sexy and beautiful woman in the world? I am to Tyler and that's all that matters to me.