Dear Tyler #1

Dear Tyler,

Last night we went to bed early, both of us being exhausted from the night before. I didn't say much and nothing of importance. I know that. But when so little time has passed since the fight, everything I say can seem forced, like I am trying to regain the status quo as quickly as possible. Yes, I want it to go back to the way it normally is as quickly as possible, but that's not the way it works. It has to drift back in good, quality time.

It very much pleased me that you ate upstairs. You could have just as easily eaten downstairs in front of the other TV. Maybe you were so tired that you wanted to eat horizontally. Or maybe you wanted to be with me, even if we weren't talking, even if I was falling asleep. Thank you for being with me, no matter what the reason.

I texted you that I posted something last night. I don't know if you read it yet. I think you did, but you didn't say anything which leads me to believe that you feel indifferent towards what I said. Or it's too soon to matter. Maybe I should have asked if you read it. But just in case you didn't have a positive reaction, I didn't want to hear about it. Not yet.

I didn't say much this morning either. Still too soon. What could I have said? I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you again. I am trying to make it better. Only time will tell, though. Only if I keep communicating.