Dear Tyler #15

Dear Tyler,

I love you! Frankly, I find there's no better way to start a letter than that, so I shall continue to begin my letters this way.

I want you to know I feel at peace. And it is sweet. For a very long time (far too long) I lived my life very tightly coiled. I wanted drama. I wanted conflict because that would make my life more interesting. I partly blame this on growing up in Nowheresville. Partly. I couldn't just be happy with what I had, or what I might have had. I needed it to be fantastic. I needed to overcome. I created problems where there were no problems. I made myself "less than" because everyone roots for the underdog. Silly, to say the least. But whatever. I am done beating myself (and letting others beat me up) over things I can't change now. No one can make me feel anything unless I let them. I am free.

Lately, I've been feeling very uncoiled. I don't need or want drama any more. I like going with flow, taking it easy, just being without trying to be something else or subconsciously looking for drama. It has been weeks (maybe a month or two) since I've cried over something negative and that is because I am stronger than ever before. And you might think it's ridiculous, but I think this rainy weather has helped. :-)

I hope you have noticed this change in me. I hope you are happy with me. That sounds dumb, but it is something I always hope. I feel confident that you are. I wouldn't have gotten here if it weren't for you, and I love you for showing me the way. Thank you.

Love,
Jordyn