Dear Tyler #17

Dear Tyler,

Please consider the following:

1. Fighting sucks. And the way we fight really sucks. When an issue is brought up, we inevitably end up in a pit of quicksand. I am trying to resolve the problem quickly, before we get sucked under. I apologize. I recognize and own the problem and I plan to act accordingly in the future. Then I apologize again. That's all I (or anyone) can do at the moment.

2. But somehow, it keeps going. My apology doesn't suffice and you keep unraveling the sweater. I try to stop you, but you keep pulling at the yarn until we have a fucking mess on our hands. You bring up all sorts of unrelated things and you find a way to make them related because...well, frankly I have no idea.

3. You are not right about everything. No one can be. I know you think you are but you need to recognize that maybe you're not right all the time. Maybe I'm right. Or if it's not a matter of who's right and who's wrong, maybe you need to recognize that my feelings matter just as much as yours. I am a human with feelings, not a robot you programmed. I am not always going to behave how you want me to.

4. Drinking alcohol may make you feel better, powerful, more invincible but it doesn't make you anymore right; it just makes you talk more which takes the argument down all sorts of paths it doesn't need to go.

5. At a certain point in every long fight we've had, there comes a time when you turn against me completely and refuse to listen or believe or consider anything I say. At that point, why should I say anything after that point?

In conclusion we need to get better at fighting, if we must fight at all. Frankly, there's no reason for it to ever go on longer than ten minutes. We need to work together to find a solution. You vs. Me is not the way. You & Me vs. the Issue is the way. And we probably need one of those hour glass timers so we're not talking over each other, because that's also not effective.

Don't worry. I'll get to my stuff in a later post. But you needed to read this first.

Love,

Jordyn